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| Here come the fangirls! Run! |
RC: Now, for those of you involved in other fandoms…
EH: There are other fandoms?
RC: Oh yeah, says DS9’s Angel of Death! Anyway, you will be aware of the practice of combining character names
like Kirk and Spock, to create Spirk! Which I still think sounds like a side effect of the flu.
EH: Or the science fiction version of santorum!
RC: Ahem. Just because our fandom skews older than others doesn’t mean we can’t merge our favorite OTP’s
names, too!
EH: In fact considering certain T-shirts, one could argue that they were the root of it all.
RC: Although I’d rather blame Star Trek.
EH: No, no! It’s video games – is there any evil they’re not responsible for?
RC: But, I’m actually rather fond of my Starsky and Hutch driving game. Every time I run over a pedestrian
my ratings go down, but they go up when I hit newspaper stands and shoot out street lights!
EH: Need I say any more?
RC: Therefore, as a public service, Rebelcat and Elizabeth Helena…
EH: AKA Rebelena
RC: Yep. That beats Hebel any day! But as I was saying, we have put together this helpful list for future headers.
EH: No, no! Thank you.
RC: For the Slashers...
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| Don't give up on us, Bay-bee! |
Starsky/Hutch
EH: As the t-shirts taught us, when Starsky’s on top, they are Starch.
RC: And when Hutch is on top, they become Husky. It’s canon!
EH: However, as Gundam Wing has taught us, S=H (as opposed to that nasty oppressive slashing) becomes Sutchsky.
RC: As long as they don’t end up Stuck-sky!
EH: That could be painful...
RC: Or even Harstch!
EH: As I said painful. And embarrassing.
RC: A million to one shot, doc! A million to one!
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| Starsky... I think he's flirting with me! Hit him again! |
Other Bay City M/M
EH: No! Say it's not so!
RC: Hutch/Dobey! Mwah, ha, ha!
EH: Dear gods.
RC: Hey, the Captain loves his blonds! Henceforth, H/D is Hubbey.
EH: But I always thought Starsky's the Captain's pet.
RC: Okay, then Starsky/Dobey is Starbey.
EH: Oh yeah? Two can play this game. Starsky/Huggy is Hugsky!
RC: And Hutch/Huggy becomes... er, damn.
EH: Right. It's either Huggy or Hutch. Must be canon.
RC: Could be HuHu?
EH: Ah yes, the lesser known and actually gay Teletubby!
RC: Or... how about Hutbear? That sounds cuddly.
EH: Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Dobey/Huggy slash becomes Doggy.
RC: Their favorite pastime, too!
EH: Don't. Want. To. Know.
RC: And Huggy/Turquet is Tuggy. Which also happens to be their--
EH: Shut up! Shut up!
RC: Whereas Starsky/Simonetti is...
EH: Wrong, wrong, wrong.
RC: True! But Simsky is kinda cute.
EH: Hutch/Simonetti is equally wrong and Humonetti isn't cute enough to pull it off.
RC: But on the other hand, Dryden/Simonetti is Drynetti. Which sounds like a cleaning product!
EH: I heard after they left IA, they went into infomercials.
RC: They'll clean your clothes like they cleaned up BCPD!
EH: Never using that product!
RC: Yeah, ew...
EH: Moving right along! For the Genners...
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| Personal space is something other people have! |
Starsky/F
EH: Starsky/Nancy is Nansky.
RC: And Starsky/Helen Davisson is Helsky.
EH: Man, bad enough she only got to be a body in the bushes.
RC: But she sounds so adorably...
EH: Dead?
RC: No, I was going to say, like a Valkerie!
EH: Oh, cause they’re so cute!
RC: Are they alive?
EH: About as alive as any of their other galpals. Speaking of which, Starsky/Terry is Starry!
RC: Awwwww!
EH: And Starsky/Minnie becomes Minsky.
RC: Sounds like they should be in a Napoleon Solo/Illya Kuryakin fic.
EH: You leave Nalya alone! Or I’ll attack Bodie/Doyle.
RC: Not, Boyle!
EH: Dodie!
RC: I’ll be good! I promise!
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| Yeah, I like Hitchcock films. Why? |
Hutch/F
RC: Hutch/Gillian is obviously Gilch.
EH: Obviously! And Hutch/Vanessa is Hutessa.
RC: O-kay. Hutch/Diana Harmon is Ditch.
EH: Well if that wasn’t prophetic.
RC: Hutch/Anna Akhanatova becomes Hutova.
EH: Because Hanna would be way too pedestrian for hot snowflake sex.
RC: I’m not sure if you can have hot snowflakes...
EH: But I know what’s a hot button!
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| "No, Napasha! I can explain!" "Aflac!" |
Starsky/Hutch/F/F/M/duck!
EH: No, no, no! We said we’d never do the love that dare not quack it’s name! I meant Starsky/Kira.
Which is Kirsky.
RC: Right, because we all know about Illya and those London club ducks.
EH: Hey! It was swinging London! He was innocent victim of avian lowlifes! And you promised to be good!
RC: Okay, okay, Kirsky it is. Who’s obviously Minsky’s brother in law.
EH: Hutch/Kira is Kitch.
RC: One “s” away from kitsch!
EH: I’d say that’s prophetic, too. Starsky/Hutch/Kira is a mess…
RC: But also Kihusky!
EH: Is it very wrong that I now want to read Kihusky fic?
RC: Yes! Very wrong! And last but not least, there’s Suesky and Sutch.
EH: For those of us who cannot resist the temptation to inflict the absolutely perfect girl on our boys.
RC: I wanna be Suesky!
EH: I heard rumors you already were.
RC: No! Just because I have a big dog, and was in a real bank robbery, and got a killer twisty objet d’art
for my wedding...
EH: And don’t forget you own four cats!
RC: Oh. Damn.
With Rebel's humiliation, we now conclude...
RC: No, Becky's not a Mary Sue! She's like totally shorter than me!
EH: Who happened to have your hair color and habit of walking large dogs in the morning.
RC: But!
...our BCPD public service announcement.
RC: Wait! I'm not Jewish!
EH: Like that matters! Starsky eats ham and cheese sandwiches.
Tune in next week for RC/EH Ham-ukkah cage match.
Winner gets to say whether Starsky's Jewish or not.
RC: And Hutch is totally Lutheran!
EH: But what we really want to know - is he circumcised?
The End!
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